


i'm gonna be more (than you ever thought i was)

by bluejae93 (Maeighghan)



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, i stg they're so soft for each other, useless bees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21613174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maeighghan/pseuds/bluejae93
Summary: “That's the job. We don’t confuse the two.”Blake can't get those words out of her head and the one person she wants to talk to is who she needs to talk about. She doesn't want to be this person but she's still learning how to be the version of herself from beforehim. And, right now, she just needs a break from it all.orIn which, Blake is stressed and falls back into an old habit from her days in the White Fang. Yang finds her and they have a much-needed talk.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna & Yang Xiao Long, Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Comments: 3
Kudos: 155





	i'm gonna be more (than you ever thought i was)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a post that I saw on Tumblr awhile ago (bc its a hellsite I couldn't find it again, sorry) about Blake having a lot of semi-unhealthy coping strategies like smoking, drinking, etc. and that combined with that good angst material from v7e4 created this. Anyway, I haven't written in forever so constructive criticism is welcome as I'm a little rusty. But, of course it had to be the bees that got me back into it :) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“ _That's the job. We don’t confuse the two.”_

Harriet’s comment from earlier that day plagued Blake’s mind. She stared out at the city from the rooftop of Atlas Academy.

She hung her head and pressed her folded hands against her forehead. The cold wind made her cheeks sting, especially this far up, but she ignored it. Atlas was beautiful but in a way that made her stomach turn. It was impossible to be in this city without being aware of the disparity between it and Mantle. 

At least it was for Blake. 

Even more so, after she found herself in the mine where Ilia’s parents had been killed and saw the way the faunus were treated – it was inescapable. There was just _so much._ And then there was this _thing_ with Yang, that Blake absolutely wanted to indulge in, but – “ _we don’t confuse the two.”_ The words played over and over in her mind and she hated that this was what she was most worried about, but it was – Yang was always on her mind lately.

Blake lifted her head and unfolded her hands to reveal a new pack of cigarettes sitting in her palm. Her thumb rubbed up the side and over the label. It was an old habit she hadn’t indulged in years; not since the White Fang, but she was stressed and _cold_ and a quick smoke would help with both of those problems. There was some _one_ that would help with both those things too, she knew, but doubt had crept into her mind and now she wasn’t so sure that what was between her and Yang was mutual after all. 

_What if she was just there because it was part of the job?_

They _really_ needed to talk. And they would. But, for now, Blake preferred to live in a world where there was still a chance Yang might love her back _._

_Love. Shit._

“Fuck it.” Blake thumbed open the box and slid a cigarette from the pack; the flame flickered in the wind as she lit the end. Her eyes fluttered shut and her ears twitched as she inhaled and let the smoke fill her lungs before she breathed back out. The smoke danced around her head and in front of her eyes, tainting her view of the city. Blake felt some sense of satisfaction seeing the city through the plume of smoke. It was like a filter over Atlas’s perfect appearance. It showed the truth it tried to hide with perfectly disciplined military, beautiful buildings, top-of-the-line technology, and their reputable academy. The willful ignorance of the city – the people – right below them almost made her sick.

Blake was so absorbed in her thoughts that she almost didn’t notice when the door to the roof opened behind her. _Almost._ Her left ear flicked at the sound and she glanced back over her shoulder to see Yang standing there. She was rubbing the back of her neck, like she did when she was nervous, but she still looked beautiful in the dim glow. Just seeing her pulled a smile out of Blake. 

Yang cleared her throat, whether it was from nervousness or the unexpected inhalation of smoke Blake wasn’t sure. 

“Mind some company?” Yang asked, and Blake beckoned her over, scooting over on the crate she was on to make room for her partner. 

They sat there in silence for a moment before Yang spoke. “I didn’t know you smoked,” she murmured, gesturing to the cigarette in Blake’s left hand. 

“I don’t,” Blake responded and turned to look Yang in the eyes, “well, I haven’t, not since...” Blake paused, glanced down, and let out a sigh before taking another pull off her cigarette. Yang tried not to scrunch up her nose at the smell but Blake noticed anyway and smirked. “Not your thing?” She asked, gesturing with the cigarette as she spoke. 

Yang chuckled and looked down at her lap, “No, can’t say it is, but I don’t mind.” Yang replied.

“Yes you do.” Blake smiled taking one last puff off the cigarette before putting it out with the heel of her boot, “It’s okay, I do too, but old habits…” She shrugged.

“Are you... okay?” Yang asked and leaned forward so she could see Blake’s eyes. 

Blake huffed and slightly shook her head. The short pieces of hair that framed her face hung over her eyes, “Are you?” She asked and peered up through her bangs to meet Yang’s gaze. 

“I–I just can’t stop thinking about Harriet and what she said this morning. I tried, and the party today helped but...” Yang’s hand flailed desperately as she trailed off almost as if it was trying to finish her sentence for her. Blake’s ears perked up at Yang’s words. _She’s been thinking about it too…_

Blake grabbed her hand out of the air to still her fidgeting. Yang moved around a lot when she was scared or anxious. Blake knew she appreciated the grounding gesture.

“I guess we were fooling ourselves to think we could just have this, huh?” Yang asked; her thumb rubbed gently across Blake’s knuckles. Somehow her hand was warm but Blake was more taken aback at the insinuation behind Yang’s statement.

“I didn’t think so, not until today.” Blake replied giving Yang’s hand a little squeeze. “The thing is, I still can’t imagine _not_ having this,” Blake confessed.

_I’m just not sure if I deserve it._

Her statement hung in the air as she waited for Yang’s response with bated breath. Yang inhaled, an unreadable fire in her eyes as she curled her prosthetic around their already intertwined fingers. 

Blake flinched from the cold metal and Yang pulled her hand back. The mood shifted immediately as Yang shot her a sheepish, apologetic look. “Sorry, I forgot that it can get so cold.”

“You’re fine, you just surprised me is all. I never want you to feel like you can’t touch me.” Blake replied but realized the innuendo behind her words a second too late as a blush crossed both their faces.

“Cool! I-I’m glad.” She stammered and Blake giggled and covered her mouth with her hand; her own blush faded at her partner’s awkwardness.

“No pun intended I’m sure.” Blake teased and Yang looked confused– still taken aback by how cute Blake was when she laughed– before she realized Blake was referring to the ~ _cold~_ of her arm. Yang awkwardly chuckled and the corner of her mouth quirked to the side.

“Can’t believe I missed that one.” Yang joked and rubbed her hands together. Clearly, in an attempt to warm her prosthetic. 

“Dork,” Blake shot back but when Yang looked over her breath caught at the look of adoration Blake was giving her.

“I love this.” Yang whispered, “I’m not trying to reopen old wounds, but after you left I missed everything about you.” She took a breath; her hands clutched at the edge of the crate as she continued, “Especially this, just being with you. It's always been so…right? I don’t know what I’m saying, that's cheesy.” Yang huffed and dropped her head into her hand.

“No, I know what you mean,” Blake glanced at the pack of cigarettes at her feet, “This morning when Harriet told us that her team was “just a job” I worried that you felt the same.” She shook her head and hesitantly looked back over at Yang.

Yang’s eyes were wide, “Blake, you have _never_ been a job to me. I’d be lying if I said what Harriet told us didn’t get to me. But she was wrong and I know that now.” Yang paused, “there's no way this could do anything but make us stronger.”

“But Yang, I’m not strong,” Blake said and looked to the stub of her cigarette on the ground. “Instead of just talking to you, I isolated myself.”

“Blake, you’re the bravest person I know.” Yang laid her hand over Blake’s and gave it a gentle squeeze. “And nothing you do could ever make me not want to be by your side, especially not something like that.” She looked so genuine but somehow that only made Blake feel worse. 

“It's not just about that, Yang!” Blake stood up fast as she raised her voice but immediately her ears drooped in regret. “I’m sorry.” She curled in on herself a bit and took a few steps forward to stare down at the city. “It's about why I did it. I’ve never been good at dealing with the hard stuff. Hell, you know that. I thought I was done with running away from my problems at Beacon. And then I _left_ you and proved myself wrong. I thought I was done with smoking and drinking – using _things_ as crutches _.”_ But clearly I was wrong. I always fall back into old habits and you deserve better than that.”

“Blake, I forgave you for leaving, and I’m sorry we never really talked about it, we should have. I didn’t realize you still felt guilty but I should have because you are so compassionate and empathetic. I want you to know that it wasn’t _your_ fault. It was _his._ Sure, I was upset but I understand why you made that choice now.”

“But, what if I ruin everything? What about the team, then? I might do something that you _can’t_ forgive.” Blake spun around to face Yang, surprised to see her partner right in front of her. 

“Impossible.” Yang rested her hands on Blake’s shoulders and stepped further into her personal space.

“Yang, you don’t know that. I-“

“Yes, I do, Blake,” the faunus’s ears jumped up at the interruption. Yang slid her palms all the way down Blake’s arms to hold her hands. “I trust you more than anyone.”

“I love you.” Blake whispered and it came out so fast; like her tongue couldn’t bear to hold onto the secret anymore. Blake searched Yang’s face for any negative reaction to her words but found nothing.

Yang’s expression was so soft as she moved her left hand up to cradle Blake’s jaw. Blake stared up at her in silence as Yang moved in to place a gentle kiss against her lips before breaking away. Then, she smiled and leaned their foreheads together, “I love you too, by the way.” She said as her breath washed over Blake’s lips. “In case you didn’t get that.”

In response, Blake immediately grabbed the collar of Yang’s jacket and pulled her back down into a kiss. Both of their eyes fluttered closed and Blake could feel Yang smiling against her lips.

This was everything Blake dared not to hope for after Harriet’s answer to Yang’s question earlier. 

Now it was clear to see; neither of them cared about what the Ace-Ops had to say. Caring about each other, loving each other, only made protecting each other easier.

“ _Honestly_ ,” Yang earnestly started, an impish grin on her face, “I _do_ love you, but you _could_ use a stick of gum.” Yang added and Blake’s mouth fell open in shock.

Blake pushed her back with a scoff and Yang backpedaled and ran to the door, laughing the whole way. It would only be a matter of time before Blake caught up. She _had_ always been the faster of the two. 

And once she did, if they didn’t leave each other’s side for the rest of the night, then that was their business.

**Author's Note:**

> If you were wondering the title is from the song Castles by Freya Ridings and it is such a Blake song. I've wanted to use it for something for ages.


End file.
